Why all the Trouble?

For so long, it seems I have had illness. I am a healer. Why does this happen to me so constantly? I get rid of the illness, and then another illness comes along to replace it for me to attend to instead. I guess I don't have enough clients yet to occupy my time. And to heal them instead of me.

My current problem this moment is a sneezy nose and having to use tissues a lot. If I didn't I would be living in a cave, maybe not in some other time, but certainly with another lifestyle. I have tried not to use tissues in the past, and at one point managed it somehow with handkerchiefs. But not when I have such a runny nose, it is impossible.

Nose - you are impossible.
Right then, says nose. I will be that. 
Hey Nose, I need my life back now!
But I am part of you. You will have to wait.
No Nose, I know you know I am typing this as you just tried to stop me from writing again with your constant demands for more tissues.

The last illness of my body was eased a few days ago and went on the past month or so. I have had hormonal imbalances, and this has caused me to be going along fine on my mountain bicycle, off to catch the train, and suddenly I got too hot, and felt dizzy. And then threw up. Managed to catch my train somehow and struggle weakly through the day with organic ginger tea frequently. And plentiful water. Wondering what the heck was going on as it was so sudden, like an argument out of the blue. Since then, my health took a downslide, and I felt very hot and then chills. Thinking it was a fever, I took some alternative health food shop capsules for fever. It went on and on. Feeling nauseated a lot. And again throwing up the other week. And then feeling nauseated a lot more. I began to take some natural hormone balancing capsules a few days ago. With ingredients such as Dong Quai, the womens herb as it is well known for treating womens imbalances. Many other ingredients are in these capsules from a health Pharmacy in Sydney, Newtons.

I highly recommend visiting it, as my symptoms of nausea have gone. It seems I am going through a training program of experiencing health issues and of how to treat them. But why should this happen when I believe the way to treat clients is individually and that my experience with healing is really only sympathetic, or empathic if I have never had any symptoms before or any of the biggies like cancer, or HIV positivity.

It must be my low immunity. Since childhood. It must be the fact I had glandular fever when I was 12. It must be the way I was eating food for so long with so little nutritional awareness and how it links to health. It must be my detoxification, that began with using black Chinese herbal detoxification pills, changing my diet to vegan for over a year from 2007 to 2009. Avoiding acidity causing food and water. Drinking as much filtered/ spring/alkaline water as possible. Yoga. Massage. And doing all those other detoxification things that cause things to be expelled from the body, somehow. Why can't my body just detox in a way that is focused and part of my daily elimination?!

Life is not childhood lemonade, sweets and bubble gum, pressure cooked vegies limp with little to desire, fast food, tinned beans and grated cheese on wholemeal toast anymore! Life is succulent fresh fruit, soaked chickpeas bought at the food co-op, vegetables that may be raw, seeds, nuts, awareness of what is in different natural foods, like magnesium in sesame seeds, wheat free and dairy free because I am intolerant and it causes trouble with my sinus and my gut, raw cacao powder on a raw chilli, litres of herbal teas, and filtered water. That, is what life is! Yeah! And isn't it doing wonders, hmm, can't really tell, must be still buried under this bad diet glug. It is so expensive! To be organic and wheat free, dairy free, healthy. To detox from the cardboard diet.

I only hope my children to be are given good food and imagine them often, being fit, doing martial training and yoga since they are able to, that is my plan to create those wonder warriors who most other people compare themselves to and think somewhere within, I have not got a chance of going back and trying to be as fit or flexible or healthy! And that is also what I recognise to be my grief for that in myself. So I mustn't wallow in it and do the best I can. I am only 31. I have time to repair. Time to improve.



God, Buddha, and Greenman bless
Samantha Aungle