I like to train

This next thing I want to say is a resistance of mine to the factors of namby pamby healing and health as I have an ideal of being unique and living in the 21st century.

And it may not seem like it is healing, but I have opinion of the energetic factor of grounding and I certainly healed after.

I was on the train with my mountain bike, after a drumming lesson, my helmet still on my head, and my backpack full of things, including a smashed glass candle holder I had accidentally dropped on the way back to the station before I got on the train.

A man had been standing on the platform, holding a 750mL glass bottle of beer, and a rollie cigarette. He had begun to smoke it on the station, then the train arrived. He also had a bike, just a small bmx. I directed him to put it elsewhere as there was not enough room in the carriage for both bikes. He put the bike in the other end of the train, and then walked back through the carriage like a wet dog returning a stick, and dropped himself into my space again.

I put the bike there. He told me. Still standing there smoking away, holding onto his beer. In Australia it is no longer permissable to smoke in train carriages, so many people move to the in between the carriages area to smoke. He did not automatically do this, when most people do. I said can you move to the in between area or put that out please. He refused to, and we began to argue about it. I did not know this guy from anywhere. He didn't know me.

He then asked me where I was going. I said home. And felt absolutely no compulsion to reveal anything to this man about myself, in fact I felt very suspicious of him and very self protective. For a good reason. Instinct.

The argument escalated into insults from him, with words like cunt being thrown at me. And also with him mentioning contact relating to being hit or touched. Wound up. He flicked the end of the cigarette into my eye. It was burning my eye. He was quite close. I pushed him away. He then came back towards me and I lashed out with my hand like an animal paw, not like a punch. As soon as I did that I put up my guard in a kickboxing stance and he began to kick at my sides near my hips. And I kicked back because he was kicking me fast and hard. I didn't lose my balance and I am proud of that.

He kept on and so did I in defense. Then the train approached the next station, and I got out of the carriage. he then got out too and went into the next carriage area, I went in to look at what he was doing, and he came back out faced me. Then a train staff guy yelled at us, and it took me off guard and I looked around. I remind myself not to do that to this day, not to look around and think whenever that happens, whenever someone says something or people look for a sound I think they're looking for the sound, don't do that. Because he knocked me backwards and my head went out the door towards the gap between the train and platform. I had also fallen back onto my knees and right back down on the floor, like a yoga postion or a guitarist on stage getting into the sound and going right back. Only it wasn't fun or cool or relaxing. I thought to myself, get up now! And hit him in the balls! Hit him in the balls, get up! I summoned myself to get up on my knees and hit him with a left jab as hard as I could at his groin area. He doubled slightly and then I instinctually moved my arms into a X to guard my head, as he tried to kick me in the head, and kept kicking. The train staff guy was then pulling me out of the carriage. The attacker got his bmx and ran down the platform. And rode away. The wuss.

I was fully grounded and talked to the station guy a bit more, got on the train and went towards home. When I got to my home station, there were about 6 station guards there, who looked worthy of an army battle. I noticed my face as I walked past a reflective bit of glass and how I had a cavewoman brow, and a worried expression. I took my bike up the stairs and over and down to where the security guards were. I told them I'd just been assaulted.

I waited at the station and they called through to police, and I decided to make a report. The report was given to the police, and it was being followed up. It was seeming to be a definite assault case. But then they took his statement, and this was over a length of time, not just straight away. They decided there would not be a case, as judging from his statement it was an equal fight not an assault. Because I fought back against the aggression and initial attack of a burning cigarette in my eye. The obvious words that gave him away before any contact was made. contact, a word used in police cases of assault and blaming the attacker with initial contact. Which was his. The action was his. The initial intent to hurt was his. I had a month of physio treatments and other healing, reiki from another practitioner, as he had kicked repeatedly at my hips, with bruises lasting there for such a long time. Also on my arms for the guarding of the high kick to my head attack.

The X I made in defense over my third eye is also a protection of my gebo, my gift. The rune of gebo means gift. The protection was of my foresight and original being, the third eye that was under attack from others on a spiritual level. The fight was to ground me and to assert my body, I still also think that I was fighting with this man to protect myself from others who attacked me in other ways. but that is not now and I must always guard, never look around for the sound. Must regain my instinct to save my self.

My lesson is to defend and defend. No matter how much pain they cause me in saying that I am wrong as I am not. Or saying I am overly suspicious of others or too defensive. Fuck that! I am a being who lives my life not some perfect church choral singer! Not some pristine little thing who cannot walk at night and fight hellishly. Yes I know it was not the worst fight ever, and the glass bottle did not smash, and I was not cut with it, or hit over the head with it. I was able to battle on my level of training and it happened for a reason. I was not shaken by it that easily, even though I felt fear of the unpredictability whilst in battle. The immediacy must be given absolute focus. Put my fears aside or acknowledge them and then focus more on the battle at hand.

I was trained and graded in kickboxing in 2000. I trained also in kung fu, dragon pole, and was up to special training classes, but not up to secret classes. It gave me about 6 months of training experience and getting used to being hit with training gear of course, no actual fighting, I wasn't graded to that level even though I would have loved to be at that level of flexibility and fitness. Martial prowess was not my goal. To be good at what I was doing, that was enough. To know enough. But I am still not satisfied. I have to know again. I will learn more because I like to train.